you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
