And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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