Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
His nipple licking is glorious
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