you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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