none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
