Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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