Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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