Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
