I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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