life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
