Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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