Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
