Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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