i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
