Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
