she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
