new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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