Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
