did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
