I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
