Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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