I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
