could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
