Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
