I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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