Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
