i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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