i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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