my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
