My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
