Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
