just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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