I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
