is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
