New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
