Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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