we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
