he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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