I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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