I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
