I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
