You're my little dorito
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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