Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
