You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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