you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
