some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
