I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
