She said her name was "party"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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