I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
