I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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