Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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