good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
